Closing down temporarily. I'll be away for a few weeks.
Workforce and Welfare
Part of our Christmas celebrations, the annual gruel speed eating competition. Mafeking Winkler, front row, our oldest worker signals the start of the competion by draining the traditional pint of rum and throwing the empty mug over his right shoulder.
The first to finish leaps onto the table and clog dances the length. In the event of a tie a table is cleared and a 'Clog Off' ensues. The winner is the last man standing.
The prize for this fiercely fought competition is a three hour early finish on New Years day. Worth having eh!
After the 1987 alleged cheating incident by Aramis Dipple, second row second from left, of attempting to pour his bowl of gruel down his trousers, the competition now takes place with contestants trouserless. Thermal underwear must be white, no gruel coloured long johns or bicycle clips are allowed.
No women are allowed to be present.
The first to finish leaps onto the table and clog dances the length. In the event of a tie a table is cleared and a 'Clog Off' ensues. The winner is the last man standing.
The prize for this fiercely fought competition is a three hour early finish on New Years day. Worth having eh!
After the 1987 alleged cheating incident by Aramis Dipple, second row second from left, of attempting to pour his bowl of gruel down his trousers, the competition now takes place with contestants trouserless. Thermal underwear must be white, no gruel coloured long johns or bicycle clips are allowed.
No women are allowed to be present.
Here at Gyronny Books we like to keep our workforce happy. We recently had state of the art coffee machines installed in all departments. The machine amd toolmakers are shown here filling the first mug of Espresso & Caramel Frappe Creme for the shop floor manager Stanley Periwinkle (at the right hand side of the picture) waiting eagerly for the brew to heat up. Doing the honours is Nigel Spanner, shop foreman
One of seventeen workforce charabancs on the annual outing to Southend on Sea. Consuela Y'Arriba Arriba dos Cuatro-Ojos is seen standing at the front issuing instructions to Steven Parboil the driver (more usually found behind the wheel of a parcel delivery van.) No back seat driver is our Consuela! Edna Quelch, her arch rival in the Print Shop is seen standing at the rear of the vehicle threatening to punch Lucinda Prime - Mildew* in the ear.
Unfortunately the traditional stop at the Half Way House and guzzling the free beer laid on by the management always results in a similar scene, so much so that Management is considering withdrawing the free beer but fears a full scale riot and thus far has deferred making a decision for the last ten years.
*Immediately in front of Edna
Unfortunately the traditional stop at the Half Way House and guzzling the free beer laid on by the management always results in a similar scene, so much so that Management is considering withdrawing the free beer but fears a full scale riot and thus far has deferred making a decision for the last ten years.
*Immediately in front of Edna
The Management charabanc lost in the streets of Dagenham after the Halfway House stop. Driver Thomas Tankie is clutching his genitals after an altercation with the street urchins seen in front. He apparently asked them the way to Southend and they immediately screamed something about paedos and practiced some ancient judo moves upon him. The Right Honourable Stanley is tentatively approaching the urchins to bribe them to go away before they let down the other tyres. Having seen the assault on Mr. Tankie he is clutching his own lower regions beneath his coat.
A crowd is gathering to enjoy a spot of Toff Baiting, a traditional Dagenham sport.*
The most popular sport among the 4-5 year olds is Chimney racing. It is limited to that age group to try to keep the number of contestants getting stuck as low as possible. Also the weight at that age is usually easy to dislodge with a hefty shove of the sweep's No. 4 broom
*Second only to Rat fighting where urchins as young as seven compete to the death against feral rats.**
** It helps to keep the population down among both rats and urchins.
A crowd is gathering to enjoy a spot of Toff Baiting, a traditional Dagenham sport.*
The most popular sport among the 4-5 year olds is Chimney racing. It is limited to that age group to try to keep the number of contestants getting stuck as low as possible. Also the weight at that age is usually easy to dislodge with a hefty shove of the sweep's No. 4 broom
*Second only to Rat fighting where urchins as young as seven compete to the death against feral rats.**
** It helps to keep the population down among both rats and urchins.
After the perils of the charabanc ride most of the company have gathered in a secret spot in Epping Forest+ where risque games will probably follow a champagne lunch.
The less sophisticated members of Gyronny Books have made their way to the Dick Turpin Public House at High Beech where a lusty sing song and several fist fights can be guaranteed to put every body in a jolly mood.
From right to left- Back row
Thomas Tankie# - Consuela Y'Arriba Arriba dos Cuatro-Ojos - Colonel Muncher - Winnie Baguette* - Ethelred Milwall
Middle row-
Our MD - Violet Pin - Percy Trembler - ?**- Lucinda & Melinda Prime-Mildew -Sir Wilfred Chutney - Lady Milwall -Minnie Pin - Stanley Periwinkle -?**- Edna Quelch
Front row-
Esme Spasm - ? ? ? ? ? ? ?**- Miss Haversham***
# Note that Thomas is still massaging his injured genitals and will continue to do so for the next several years.
+ Doggies Walk
* PA to Ethelred Milwall
** Secretarial pool
*** Head of communications
The less sophisticated members of Gyronny Books have made their way to the Dick Turpin Public House at High Beech where a lusty sing song and several fist fights can be guaranteed to put every body in a jolly mood.
From right to left- Back row
Thomas Tankie# - Consuela Y'Arriba Arriba dos Cuatro-Ojos - Colonel Muncher - Winnie Baguette* - Ethelred Milwall
Middle row-
Our MD - Violet Pin - Percy Trembler - ?**- Lucinda & Melinda Prime-Mildew -Sir Wilfred Chutney - Lady Milwall -Minnie Pin - Stanley Periwinkle -?**- Edna Quelch
Front row-
Esme Spasm - ? ? ? ? ? ? ?**- Miss Haversham***
# Note that Thomas is still massaging his injured genitals and will continue to do so for the next several years.
+ Doggies Walk
* PA to Ethelred Milwall
** Secretarial pool
*** Head of communications
The usual three stages of the Gyronny Books annual Christmas Party
1 The evening usually starts with a sedate waltz or two before dinner. After this the senior members retire to the boardroom for their dinner.
2 Wine flows generously at dinner and you will observe in the absence of more responsible elders the younger members find it difficult to refuse free drink!
3 The start of the impropmptu beauty contest. First on the "catwalk" is Edna Quelch the most vivacious member of the print shop and always up for fun.
1 The evening usually starts with a sedate waltz or two before dinner. After this the senior members retire to the boardroom for their dinner.
2 Wine flows generously at dinner and you will observe in the absence of more responsible elders the younger members find it difficult to refuse free drink!
3 The start of the impropmptu beauty contest. First on the "catwalk" is Edna Quelch the most vivacious member of the print shop and always up for fun.
The winner of the table dance for 2020 was Miss Eleanor Smug, seen here at the start of her dance of the 47 Yards of Tulle. Cameras were forbidden after her 2019 performance and she will not be appearing next year having been booked for the Senior Management after dinner cabaret